Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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