if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
