Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He did a backflip because drugs
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
