Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
