So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize