cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
