from now on my penis is your penis
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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