i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
