Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
where am i from again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
