He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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