How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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