Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
