i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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