Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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