Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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