Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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