she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
