We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
