thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
do herpes really smell.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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