Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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