"it" just moved
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i think my cat just said my name.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
