He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
you never un-have a 4some
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
