Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
