My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
