I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize