you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
