She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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