His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
