I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize