:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
