HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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