she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
