And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
