Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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