It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
