So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
