dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
