Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
