ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
