All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
