how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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