no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
