Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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