I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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