Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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