so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize