It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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