just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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