sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
