i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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