You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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