Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
