He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
