Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
