I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
