woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize