As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
