They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
