i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
