yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
