Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
