dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
