Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
