took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
